for some reason having nikson around for only two years seems quite impossible. it seems like he has been in our lives forever, or moreso, we can't really remember life without him. (ok, ok i can remember how naps used to be longer and we didn't buy hot dogs, yikes). the other night while driving home, blake asked me if i thought nikson was so good because we are good parents (are we?) or if he was so great because that is just who we were sent. the question has been on my mind ever since and i as watch him do the funny things he does, the grown up things he does, and the cute things he does, i realize how little we have to do with this small human being. the little has changed us really. yesterday i backed into our driveway gate, snapping off our rear view mirror (for the flippin love), and blake and i got into a little fight (blake: i'm not mad just bugged. jac: why do you have to make me feel dumb when i already know how dumb that was.) the whole time we are bouncing snarky remarks at each other nikson is yelling, "mom. dad. no no." "blake shh." "mama nice." he is like a live-in marriage coach. he is pretty sensitive to contention and so our home is softening. sometimes blake and i will be wrestling and the tickle thing will sneak it's way in. i know if i yell "help" to Nikson he will start bawling and get mad a blake. thank you son of mine!
for being two i feel like he has gotten a lot accomplished. he asked to be potty trained and has passed that with flying colors (hallelujah). he can communicate pretty well, there is always one of us who understands what he is saying. he kisses mom's tummy religiously and is really excited for a brother (we shall see how that goes over). he remembers people's names and can connect stories to important people in his life. for example, my sister-in-law, brynlee and him saw a dead mouse in our bathroom (gag) and anytime we talk about bryn, nikson is sure to remind us, "mouse, dead. bryn, screaming."
every mother has a special spot in her heart for her children. i think about my mom and how she made each one of us feel like we were her favorite. no one every felt like they were unloved or unwanted. this kid has a way of making sure he has that kind of affection coming from everyone he knows. i am excited for him to be two. not super thrilled that his wise self is getting a little bit sassy with his mom, but needless to say, he's got a way.
it is interesting to look back and wonder. wonder about a lot of things. a few prominent thoughts are as follows...
having nikson in our family has sure made things more magical. i can not imagine our family without him. i know every mother says that of her child, but i honestly feel like this little guy was sent to us for a reason. we laugh harder. we fight less. we play more. and i have nearly every bubble guppies episode memorized. (would that be considered magic?) what more could we ask for. a close friend encouraged us to start filming more, his rule of thumb was an hour a week, and i am trying my best to stay on top of it. the tricky thing is when my son is completely naked, standing on our counter in front of the bathroom mirror, singing none other than, "baby, baby, baby, OOOOh" i really don't want to miss any of it so the camera stays on the counter while i take in my hilarious son. who is this kid? i feel like every day has something new for us to witness. each night, handsome and i like to recall the day and all the funny "niksonisms" that happened. he has definitely brought a different light into this house.
another thought that keeps finding its way into the forefront of my mind is the fact that handsome and i are doing really good. you all kind of got a glimpse of what some rocky roads look like here in the house, but i am proud to announce that change and forgiveness is what it is really all about, hot dog. we both have had some massive spiritual and emotional make-overs that have enabled an atmosphere of good conflict and growth to happen. i seriously am a very blessed woman to be able to experience life in a healthy way with a man i cherish. we are both learning how to love on a different level. not only physically, which is weird because i feel like most relationships start off with the physicality dynamic. although we are completely smitten with each other's good looks, we are definitely learning how to love deeper. i am a grateful girl.
my last thought to share comes from deep within the confines of my heart and will really let you in on who i really am. "how in heavens name does baby number two bring on a body that's not my own so quickly?" yeah, riddle me that. girlfriend was rocking skinny jeans until month eight with nikson and this little weasel kicked me into motherhood maternity at month four. cruel and unusual punishment for a woman trying to create a living, breathing, running around naked playing swords with his brother, thing.
ps, did you catch that?
i am also pleased to announce that the bishop home is welcoming BABY BOY number two come the end of April. i can not express to you enough how elated i have been and how excited we are as parents to get another opportunity to raise a son. nikson doesn't quite get it yet, but he does talk to his brother through the belly-button, and he tells everyone who is in mom's tummy. that in itself has made year twenty twelve a good one.
around the holidays i, like the majority of the world, take in the year and really decide what i became because of it. this year has been an emotional roller coaster for me. we experienced joys that will never be replaced, hard things that made us stronger, and challenges that i have never thought i would deal with. we decided to make everything good though, with that i do better at some things than others. i suppose that is what makes life so amazing, being able to find where the sweet is and make it truly your own.